Delivery & Returns
Q: Is your shipping Free?
A: We all know that “free shipping” is like the whole “peeing on a jellyfish sting”… thing… it doesn’t actually exist, no matter how much we want to believe it or how much any online retailer claims.
So, yeah, we said it. Free shipping doesn’t exist.
All retailers that offer “free shipping” obviously have the shipping fee built into the price. (The old…. “the price you see is the price you pay” line) and for clarity, we’re no different.
But we absolutely don’t claim it’s free… it’s just… included!
Q: Where do you deliver to?
A: Currently all deliveries are limited to planet earth (good job, as we don’t like heights).
However, we’ve heard there may be a couple of Billionaires that are trying to change this? (Our personal view is that if you’re prepared to pay for delivery, we’re prepared to send whatever you buy from us to wherever in the world you are! It’s that simple).
Q: How much does delivery cost?
A: Standard delivery for Mainland UK & Northern Ireland is included where possible – (depending on Brexit, shipping restrictions etc) – oh yes, you read that right… Northern Ireland is included where possible… we couldn’t very well charge extra when our Global HQ / Head Office / workspace / shed is based in Belfast!
Q: I need my order faster, can I upgrade the shipping?
A: Oh yes, in almost all cases you can upgrade the shipping for faster delivery, please see the options available for each individual product.
Q: Where do you dispatch from?
A: Without wanting to sound awkward (or show-offy) we ship items from multiple locations. Not because we’re a huge eCommerce giant but just because the way we serve our clients dictates the way our business operates, is structured and therefore, where we ship from. Our policy (where possible) is to ship product only once.
We firmly believe our planet thanks us for only shipping items once. We don’t see the need to get our clients to ship their inventory to one of our warehouses, for us just to ship it on to you when you buy it. Imagine, you may live right next to where it originally came from…. that would be silly.
Q: Can I track my order?
A: This depends on which shipping method is used but in most cases you will receive tracking details in your dispatch email – this will allow you to track the shipment from the warehouse floor to your front door in real time.
If your order is sent via Royal Mail with no tracking facility, you will be informed of this in the shipping email also.
Q: What about a warranty?
A: Every single item we sell comes with a manufacturer backed warranty unless stated otherwise – different manufacturers offer different warranties so please do check each listing.
Of course, we offer our own return policy so please don’t hesitate to contact us if there are any issues and we’ll do everything we can to put it right.
Q: What do I do if I have a problem with an order?
A: Easy. Contact us, and explain your issue to one of our crack team of nosey parkers.
They will personally look into every aspect of your order, our service, dispatch, the courier or delivery company performance and anywhere else their investigation takes them to work out what has gone wrong and how to put it right.
They are empowered to do whatever it takes to create a favourable outcome where possible.
Q: Can I return an item.
A: Absolutely. As long as you inform us within 14 days of receiving an item, you can return it for any reason or no reason at all. The only stipulation is that it arrives back with us unused, in the condition it arrived with you.
After 14 days you can only return faulty items. To do so, simply contact us at email@example.com
Q: Do you have a 100% customer satisfaction guarantee?
A: Doesn’t every company?
That’s why we don’t bang on about it. Because everyone else says it so much that it actually means nothing.
Talk is cheap. We let our actions do the talking. Like Rambo. Or James Bond.